The Peace of Wild Things

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

— Wendell Berry

Politics and religion and the voice of the soul

A warning. This is unfinished. It is 1:25 am and I have to sleep. I just can't sleep when I'm stuck on something, and I've run amuck in knee deep mud pondering politics and religion which are off-topic at home in the interest of sanity and survival. If I don't post it, I won't finish it... so its out there...feel free to fix it for me. I'd love to stop the bleeding.

I am tired of politics. I am tired of religion. In the story in which we find ourselves, both are causes of deep sorrow and pain for me. We have become a nation so polarized--left vs. right, liberal against conservative, "Christians" pitted against non-Christians and against themselves over differences in beliefs--that it leaves scars on the soul. And I think maybe I'm not alone and it isn't just mine that bears the wounds...and I wonder...could this be the beginning of the end? Could the widening gap between the Us's and the Them's with the cacophony of hateful words and proliferation of falsehoods be eating away at the very soul of democracy like acid rain on the monuments of antiquity? I am angry, saddened, and bewildered.

I wonder what it means to be a proud American anymore. If it means drawing a line in the sand, taking a side, and using every measure at my disposal --fear, hate, and lies-- to beat down the other side over matters of faith or government, I want no part. No part. But the alternative to that can not be stepping aside and cowering in my own little world because to do nothing, say nothing in this time is participating by default.

The cerebral hemmorage I'm having now is how one, or a group of far more than one, builds the bridge that spans the divide. I think it starts with getting it out of the heads which are playing like scratched up records, stuck in stagnant ideas, and moving it to the hearts and the inner voices of one's soul. There is value in that voice, not just mine or yours or the people with money or power or in this group or that. The song of every human soul on this whirling blue ball is worthy of being heard.

La vie en rose

Sunday morning sunrise at Bethel Beach...

 ...no place I'd rather be.

 Noah woke me early and off we ran.

Looking for another sunrise as beautiful as the last.

Kiwi, kiwi, kiwi

Noah wants a full-time job as a kiwi picker.  He picked 2 5 gallon buckets full.
Sliced fresh kiwi. Kiwi through the juicer. Kiwi and yogurt smoothies. Kiwi popsicles...Help...How do you like your kiwi?

Thanksgiving coming soon...

It's Monday.
Thanksgiving is this week.
I am looking forward to hearing Rob Bell in Charlottesville although I haven't sorted out the logistics (Noah).
Today I get a CT scan of my head.  The idea of getting a head scan has me practically rolling and I am sure Noah's dad will feel the same when he finds out (which he will because I don't ask Noah to keep secrets). I am going to digress a moment. Sorry. A teacher who was helping Noah in 2nd grade once told me that Noah shared "a lot of information about your  (my) personal life." I just smiled. Whattaya do?
Undiagnosed pain is making me a little batty.
But...I am thankful for so many things this year.
Having friends for Thanksgiving, and my neighbor, Tom...who is a real character.
Turkey.
Dressing. Pecan pie. Gravy.
My friend Sarah is cooking with me.
I only really care about the gravy.
I've been trying to fix things in my house.
It is still a masterpiece, evolving... Big smiles.
Freedom. Love. Living Loved. Knowing that there are no boxes.
Smiles on Noah's face. The way he laughs when he is alone in a room.
And gravy...

Peace and Love and Happy Thanksgiving,
Krista

Much needed peace and joy

Noah and I did the One Night Without a Home this weekend. It was cold.

Then, we went to Virginia Beach to look at the waves...and go to the aquarium...and visit Animal Jungle...

                    Noah always strikes this pose in the fake nest...

We had a great weekend...

Awake too early...

Last night I made pumpkin rolls for what I hope is the last time this season and I had my first major screw-up...which was almost much worse than it ended up...when I poured the batter into the pans, I noticed that there wasn't enough for the third pan, so I had to pour it back... and add the sugar. It runs in the family. My mom has made pumpkin bread twice, leaving out the 6 2/3 cups of flour. She baked it like that (big smiles just remembering her telling me that it would have to stay my duty because hers didn't come out right). So my mistake was relatively minor, but one of the rolls just wouldn't roll after the filling had been put on--so I folded it in half and then rolled it. It's a reject, but will taste fine for family.

I have been awake since 3:30. I moved a heater to Noah's room. I made coffee (and drank most of the pot, so will have to make anew). I have a quiche in the oven for breakfast. The dogs have been let out.

The image in my head that tells me I need a break is there almost always these days. Everything that happens during the day has that as a backdrop.  I'm sitting on a big rock at a beach. It is a beautiful isolated beach. Sand, water, trees. I'm sitting on the rock and it is misty. Sky is grey with a touch of warmth at sunrise.  In my mind this beach is on a river somewhere...my brain doesn't read it as ocean. So, I'm just sitting there. I'm wearing an old wool sweater and crappy jeans. A few gulls dart over head. There is another rock a few paces away with another thinker sitting on it. I don't know who this person is...just a misty shape on the rock next to mine. We don't speak, but I somehow feel comforted by the presence of another and I really feel that deeply. And that is all it is. The image never changes.

I started seeing all this in my head sometime last year.  It's comforting, but I  can't help wondering why the beach isn't tropical, why am I dressed for winter weather, why can't I figure out who the other person is.  And the image is quite bizarre with these two side by side boulders. It reminds me of that stupid Cialis commercial with the two side by side bathtubs on the beach. I'll never get what message they are trying to send...I always think that a better image would be two people in the same tub.  I'm losing my mind, I think...or I just got up too early.