Weekend

A wonderful long weekend.
Many hearty laughs when I wore a bowl of chili as a hat thanks to my dog, Henry.
(These laughs were so needed).
Life of Pi, dirt-biking, atv thru the puddles, playing music, reading.
The expert electrician that I am...came to the crazy conclusion that my heater was never broken, and plugged the fan in again (without the bad power strip) and it worked...so we are warm again, and will be cozy tomorrow when winter comes anew.

Blue dot enjoyed the company of a few other blue dots for Inauguration Day.
Blue dot boy practiced the sleep away for mom's conference, and did not need to call her even once...not once, not even to say "goodnight."

And that was the best part of all because blue dot boy is so very much loved, and blue dot mom wants him to be fearless-or at least know his own courage. (Fearlessness...of all the things my parents did for me... this was, by far, the best).
Yes. I really was going to take apart the gas appliance and sort out how I could fix it with a few cheap replacement parts. Until the electrical epiphany, I really did think the motor had burned out. We'd seen sparks when it blew the whole circuit and the lights went out.
It was a wonderful weekend.
Far too short.

Happy

I am happy.

Life is beautiful and amazing.

The sun is out.

The days are getting longer and summer is coming 

(said wearing 550 down over a sweater in front of the fire with a smile on my face).

Happy feels right.

It's easy and warm, and sleepy and tender and just crazy enough.

I'm lucky.

And now the smoke alarm calls.

Noah is making lunch 

(hot dogs wrapped with tortillas) 

as I miss Philadelphia.

XO, Krista

Mama said there'd be days like this...

I woke up at 4:30 thanks to Henry chasing Alice across the bed. Henry loves cats. He loves to lick them, lives for it I think, but at 4:30 AM when the cat is snuggled in the crook of my neck it isn't fun. And when he wakes up Ariel who is also on the bed and who is not a morning dog, it is twice as much not fun.

We had an ADD day today, my boy and I. Up early but managed to miss the bus. Got half-way to school and realized that we did not have Noah's binder. The binder is not so much a binder as it is a brief case-a 4 inch enclosed D-ring notebook that contains all his work for math, english/lit, and civics. We had to go back to get it.  He still made it to school on time.

I went to feed the animals which was supposed to be quick, but I got attacked by the punk rock rooster again.  I nearly killed it with the rake I held to defend myself, but as I prepared to strike, I realized that I would only hurt him and would get stuck caring for an injured bird that I hate (so on my list is sharpening the hoe, and next time it will be off with his head).

At work I realized that I had forgotten to pick up my insulin the day before, so I accomplished that task, only to leave it inside the work refrigerator when it was time to go.  I also left my phone charger and even went back for that, still forgetting the insulin in the fridge.

When I got home, Noah and I took Alice to get her stitches out since we didn't want to spend Saturday morning at the vet.  I forgot that Ariel needs a vaccine update, so we will be doing the vet thing again tomorrow anyways. Of course I asked about hours on Monday, but WOW-who forgot to tell me that Monday is Christmas Eve? My family celebrates together on Christmas eve at Mom and Stuart's and my brother and his family come, so there isn't a chance we can do Ariel's vaccines then, but Gloucester Veterinary Clinic is open 9-12 if anyone else needs them.

After Alice got her stitches out, Noah and I went to the office to get my insulin, so I am safe for the next month. On the way home, I remembered that I took the stitches out myself the last time we had cats spayed, so we didn't really need the trip at all (but they didn't charge and I didn't end up bleeding--so a good thing overall).

Noah recently decided he'd rather not take his medication for ADD. He says that school is more fun without it, and I am sure he is correct. I haven't told his teachers yet, but some of them know already. He still managed a 100 on the science test on genetics, so I guess it is hit and miss. Science and Civics, Hit. English and Pre-Algebra, Miss. He also lost homework for the first time ever. Pre-Algebra. His teacher gave him a reprieve.

I've been known to describe my house as ADDX2.  One of us needs medication or we just won't survive, so I guess it is time to talk to Dr. Conley about it (if I can remember to schedule an appointment, and even then, we've been meaning to have that discussion about my ADD for years).

In the middle of this wacky day, my boy blew me a kiss as I dropped him off at school and I got to celebrate  Christmas with coworkers at our annual office lunch.  My tiramisu was a hit. I interviewed 5 teens for the camp counselor positions, and loved them all. One of them had been  a first time camper the first year I directed camp. I remember walking the basketball court with him late at night. Camp wasn't what he expected. He wanted to leave. He reminded me so much of Noah. He made me smile. His mom apologized profusely for the late night calls and shenanigans, but I'd do it again in a heart beat. When he got the question today about how he deals with challenges--well, he told me all about Concerta (picture the biggest smile ever...he'd already told me that his greatest weakness was lack of focus). He otherwise had a great interview, and I'm excited that he will be at camp again. I'll have to remember to ask Dr. Conley about Concerta.

Noah and I ended the day with A Christmas Carol and popcorn, and the two lovable dogs snuggled with us on the sofa. Henry's version of snuggle means he sleeps over top of you and growls when you move.

Happy Friday

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, please put a penny in the old man's hat...another tune that plays in my head thanks to Grandma Carmen.  Her "Puttin' on the Ritz" singing turtle should have arrived by now, and is in all probability driving everyone crazy because she will forget she just turned it on as soon as it stops singing. Noah picked it out. I'm blameless.
I already got my Christmas present. My boy blew me a kiss as he walked into school this morning, apparently forgetting for a moment all rules of tween decorum.  I'm not sure which warmed my heart more-the kiss, or the nervous expression on his face as he looked around to make sure no one had seen. Twelve year old boys are all wonder and beautiful soul. I don't really care if he ever cleans his room, he's got my heart forever.
This year by a series of fortunate events I get to have Christmas dinner with my Noah.  We are looking forward to empanadas and an evening of good music and movies and fun. He may even teach me a few chords on the guitar.
And I am off for 17 days. It is starting to feel a lot like Christmas...

Merry Christmas and Peace to All,  K

On trampolines and ladders and aha, hmmmm...

I had an "aha" moment today on my may to work (which was longer than usual as I had a meeting to attend in Jamestown). As a rule, I'm not too fond of those kind of moments. Fortunately, they usually don't arrive during the commute...which is just barely long enough for me to remember to turn on NPR or blast whatever cd comes pre-loaded by my 12 year old aspiring rock-star. But it came nonetheless, unheralded by morning chaos or personal drama. It was an "aha" moment: I am the trampoline.

Not just any run-of-the-mill trampoline... I am the world's largest invisible trampoline--the trampoline--The very same one I've been struggling to build for Noah while I juggle the simultaneous construction of the ladder to the stars (and I'll deal with that another day, maybe). The trampoline--you know his "back bounce from", his "not get hurt from"... Aha, hmmmm.......

Aha, hmmmm = I've been giving too much attention to constructing the world's largest invisible trampoline!
Aha, hmmmm = The trampoline has more to do with me, than it ever did the boy (who really only needs the regular-old-me trampoline and not something extra-bouncy and invisible).
Aha, hmmmm = That big, extra fancy, invisible trampoline might actually discourage the climb up the ladder. It grounds him, rather than letting him soar...and it does this with an admission price of  $ome mental anguish on both our parts.

Well, blow me away and bounce me up to the stars! What a bunch of foolishness even a fairly sane parent can be.

One of the things that I love most about by own parents is that they instilled a sense of fearlessness in me. I'm not afraid to take risks. I always assume that I will survive. I pretty much think I can do just about anything once I figure out what that anything requires. It's a good trait, and one I hope to pass along.

I love that kid of mine. Jesses off, baby. Fly.

On trust and a new day

Not the old Pecan, but one of my favorite trees on the farm

“Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter.” -Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

Trust shouldn't be a fragile butterfly wing, but sometimes it's exactly that. Broken butterfly wings don't mend, they don't fly, they certainly can't soar. I've found myself on the un-trusted side of the trust equation for a long while now. It hasn't much mattered what I've said- that I didn't move the coffee pot in the middle of the night, that I hadn't been unfaithful-it simply didn't matter because the other half just would not believe me. It hurt. It made me feel crazy. It wore me down emotionally. It sapped all my brain cells. Seriously, all of them. And he's still part of my heart, and I guess that will ache for awhile. 

So... tomorrow I begin a new chapter in my life. One that I hope is filled with more reason than speculation. One that is full of more joy and more grace than the one before. There will be a part of me that will wish he had chosen to climb the tree in hopes of the wonderful view, but life isn't static. It moves forward. Noah will get lessons in tree climbing (along with all those music lessons he loves). We will become the crazed tree climbers of North together. When you see us up in the old Pecan, be sure to wave... or at least smile and know that we are enjoying the view. 

Peace and Love, 

Krista

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have so much for which I'm thankful. Sometimes when life gets tough it is important to remind myself. 

I so love this boy!!!

I have a great kid. I lucked out with wonderful parents.  I have a brother and sisters who inspire me, laugh with me, and pull me out of the funk when I crawl into that dark place. I have great friends. I work with great people. I get to spend time with some amazing kids.

The dysfunctional family Thanksgiving actually functions for me.  I am going to my mom's. Although there is always the scare of food poisoning there, it's always fun with the Flanagan/Gustafson crew. That was not an insult to anyone's cooking prowess...Some will know what it means.  Anyhoo, Noah will get picked up there by his Dad and he'll do Thanksgiving with Steve and Grandma JoAnna. Grandpa Jim is sailing Scrimshaw south. At 4:15 Noah and I will meet back at the house for the Redskins/Cowboys game. Yay!! And we will get to watch it in the living room because the Dish man is coming today.

On Sunday I am cooking a turkey and doing my own version of Thanksgiving for old Tom across the street's birthday. He will be 84 years old. He doesn't know he's coming for dinner yet, and I suppose Noah and I should walk over and make the invite this afternoon.

Love to all, and Happy Thanksgiving! -K