On trust and a new day

Not the old Pecan, but one of my favorite trees on the farm

“Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter.” -Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

Trust shouldn't be a fragile butterfly wing, but sometimes it's exactly that. Broken butterfly wings don't mend, they don't fly, they certainly can't soar. I've found myself on the un-trusted side of the trust equation for a long while now. It hasn't much mattered what I've said- that I didn't move the coffee pot in the middle of the night, that I hadn't been unfaithful-it simply didn't matter because the other half just would not believe me. It hurt. It made me feel crazy. It wore me down emotionally. It sapped all my brain cells. Seriously, all of them. And he's still part of my heart, and I guess that will ache for awhile. 

So... tomorrow I begin a new chapter in my life. One that I hope is filled with more reason than speculation. One that is full of more joy and more grace than the one before. There will be a part of me that will wish he had chosen to climb the tree in hopes of the wonderful view, but life isn't static. It moves forward. Noah will get lessons in tree climbing (along with all those music lessons he loves). We will become the crazed tree climbers of North together. When you see us up in the old Pecan, be sure to wave... or at least smile and know that we are enjoying the view. 

Peace and Love, 

Krista